Actually, so far I am enjoying the process. After all of my struggles with trying to lose weight after having Jenna, it is nice to be making steady progress in losing body fat. Setting this goal has given me some direction and something to work toward, and keeping with it has been fulfilling. Speaking keeping with it...thus far the nutrition aspect has not been as challenging as I thought it would. I know this will change in time, but for now, I am happy to be satisfied in this area. After two and a half weeks of starting the actual competition nutrition, I am still losing at the same level I started - about 1800 calories a day, 26g carbs/23g protein/12g fat per meal for 6 meals a day, lifting 4-5 days per week and cardio for 30 minutes 5-6 days per week. As I said before, I know it will not be like this for long, but I am happy that I am responding at this level. It has also given me time to get myself into a more disciplined mindset and schedule. It has also given JP and I time to get on the same page, as my overall success will depend on his support, which I have 100%.
Some of the challenges so far:
-Keeping on a time/timing schedule with eating - I find this easy to do when I'm at work, but once I have had to work out a schedule that allows me to have my final meal once I have gotten Jenna to bed. This has been worked out, though, and I am on track with this area of the nutrition.
-Traveling - we have been out of town both of the weekends that I have been eating competition nutrition so far, which means bringing all of our own food in two coolers, bringing the digital scale and Breville blender, sometimes eating on a totally different time schedule as everyone else, and of course eating something totally different than everyone else. I have stayed on track despite all of this and having gone through this so early in has really helped with my disciplining myself to the process. The biggest challenge in all of it was the final day of the Edisto trip last weekend, when we had to be out of the house, but didn't get on the road until over 2 hours later. This meant that I was depending on two protein shakes to get me through the time period from the solid meal at breakfast and the solid meal at home 6-7 hours later. I was starving by the time we got home, but I made it, which felt good. My next biggest challenge will be traveling 10 hours to and from Pennsylvania next weekend. But with good planning, I think it's possible.
-Feeling guilty - the process is, by it's very nature, one that requires me to be self-consumed. I am constantly thinking about my body, my eating, my workouts, my schedule, and staying committed to everything, even in spite of people around me not understanding. In general, this does not produce a lot of guilt because I am approaching this like a job - and prioritizing things like I would for a job makes it easier. The part where I feel guilty is that it is already putting demands on JP and I know this will only get worse over time - and at some point, it will also disrupt my schedule with Jenna. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there - and it's only temporary.
-Remembering where the real battle lies - I am not doing to this to prove anything to anyone, to be the best at anything, or for any other reason than to take the personal challenge for myself. I realize this process will bring to light demons that lie dormant - such as having to face my emotional eating issues. However, like everything else in my life, I so realize that food is just food, just as time is just time, and people are just people. In the end, the battle always lies with me. And this is manageable. I just have to remember it.
Some of the positives:
-Losing body fat - it feels good to see the BF% going down, to see a smaller number on the tape measure, to fit into clothes I couldn't fit into two weeks ago. I will post pictures below - and it is nice to be able to actually see the difference that just two weeks makes. And look forward to seeing what a difference that 19 weeks makes.
-Satisfaction of sticking with a goal - this is kind of the point of goal setting, but there is a sense of satisfaction that comes from being regimented and disciplined.
-My husband loves my changing body - need I say more?
-I can wear heels again - yes, I care about this. Wearing heels with the 20 pounds I previously had - even the 10 - was excruciating. But somewhere in the last two weeks I found my heel groove again, and I love it!
-The consignment pile is growing - which is good for a number of reasons, including another source for earning money to add to our emergency fund and it means I am getting rid of old clothes that no longer fit. I know this also means I will have to work on getting clothes that DO fit, but I'm no longer ashamed to ask for hand-me-downs from my friends who wear the size I need. I have also found a lot of success at thrift stores and consignment shops. But that is a whole different post. Back to my original point - I learned a long time ago to get rid of clothes that are now too big. The fact that the pile is growing is a reflection of my overall loss. There are so many other things I can list, but I will leave it there for now.
I am sure I will be posting on many more positives and challenges as I go.
Now for the hard part - the pictures. I think this is one of the aspects that JP hates most, but it is real. It shows that I am a real person. And baring this part of the process makes it real to others. Do I wish I could airbrush away all of my imperfections like they do for models, stars and in the magazines? Not really because that is not real. This is real...
Pics from 4-8-12 (the day before starting competition nutrition):
Pictures from 4-22-12 (after two weeks of competition nutrition):
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