Have you ever known you needed to make a decision, but wanted to wait to make sure it's the decision you needed to make? Well, that is the way I have been feeling about this show. Yesterday I made the final decision to pull the plug on it and not do it. And I found peace in the decision.
The truth is that I have known for a while that I wouldn't be ready in time. I have talked it about it some here, but truly in my heart I have known it for about 5 weeks, and kept moving forward just to see. I have felt very convicted about it this week. The major factor that keeps playing around in my head is my body fat percentage. Although this is not a hard and fast rule, nor an exact science, my body fat percentage - though in the normal range for a healthy, athletic female - is not in the range it needs to be to be at a minimum conditioning level to get on stage. Yes, I could get on stage just for the sake of the experience, but there has to be a bare minimum cut off somewhere, just in the interest of being realistic. Because the stage is not forgiving. Another thing is that my stomach, though much smaller, still hasn't tightened up - and a competition suit and posing would only accentuate that. Same with my rear end. Another thing you can't hide on stage is ANY jiggle, and I would have some, so....yeah...not ready for all that. :) Add to that the financial strains it would put on us, and I knew it was the right thing.
And I have peace with that decision. Now it's time to step back, regroup and plan for the spring. In the meantime, I will enjoy having Stevia in my coffee again!
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